2023 is flying .. and for many reasons! Just been in the midst of a wedding and later this summer there is a family wedding too .. the shopping was alot of fun and I’m sure the wedding will be even more fun! Have a few decorations to take care of in the mean time and a bit of shopping to do for myself of course! Bombay, Delhi and may be a bit of Calcutta too ? Anyway, I digress .. Marriage is something I have been giving some thought to for quite a while, in some ways you can say the way I was brought up … it was always on the mind 🙂 I don’t want to be doom and gloom, but same time I have many questions. I believe everyday is about Love, Peace & Joy .. we have not been born to pay bills and die!!! What’s your Love, Peace & Joy?
Growing up, it was all about going to school, getting a job, finding a husband, having some kids and living happily ever after ..right? Well, for me it was and it didn’t happen .. learning to cook to be good potential and the annual fasting for a good husband and children .. hmmm 🙂 We are so conditioned to this thing called “marriage”.. when I started listening to Osho and he spoke about marriages being so broken I would take a deep breadth internally .. I mean how can marriage not mean something ? It’s sacred.. isn’t it ? Maybe older and wiser, maybe just experienced and have witnessed more truths, maybe from listening I have moved to understanding and now to a knowing .. maybe it’s our time to demystify what marriage actually means in this world today ? and more importantly what it means for “YOU”!
The Event
Yes, it may look beautiful, but I have organised a wedding and been in many and having just seen the bride in tears when things were not going “as they were planned” I wonder .. why? Haven’t the photos now become more important than the actual ceremony? I saw an interesting article recently in which the couple got divorced so wanted a refund from the wedding photographer!!! I have been to a wedding where the pandit was asked to stop the vows so that the bride could have “her song” played when she came walking in!!! Anyway, I don’t know if weddings ever go according to plan and yet everyone thinks “mine will be perfect” and maybe that’s the issue itself .. what is perfect and for who? Big fat Indian Weddings can be fun .. the rituals, the clothes, the colours and ofcourse the food! Maybe thats what The Event should be .. just fun ? So then is it ok that The Event is bigger than the feelings and emotions of 2 people coming together? But, we like to show that we have traditions, we have a culture, we have beliefs .. Yes, 2 people coming together should be celebrated, but should a marriage become Just about “The Event”? And recently, something else I have been musing, we talk about being modern, we talk about empowerment .. yet we “the modern” .. “the empowered” expect all the tradition and more than anything this appears to translate to… Parents Pay! Really? It’s so interesting! How modern & empowered are we really? Or, as someone told me recently it’s The Entitled generation we have getting married primarily these days!
The Paper
So maybe you don’t do “The Event” but The Paper is important isn’t it? Really? Why? What does a piece of paper truly mean.. anything ? You are legally bound .. what happened to freedom ? The sense of “ownership” this paper creates.. My Husband, My Wife .. we belong to each other .. we owe each other .. No, we don’t! Living in the moment, everyday we have a choice .. Our souls are craving to be free, we are not bound to anything, yet society has tried to cut our wings .. again and again .. and we have allowed it! I find this piece of paper more and more redundant .. staying in any marriage because of a paper, having expectations because of a paper .. and yes this happens more than we want to believe! We meet people for a reason, we play a role in each others lives .. why does “The Paper” make it “Forever” ? Ofcourse there are happy marriages out there, but they will never be happy just because of The Piece of Paper! People tell me the paper is important if you have children because of legalities, the more I have thought about it, the more it just makes me believe our laws need to questioned .. why are they so controlling?
The Promise
The Cosmic Tag .. The Soul Knows .. THE SACRED UNION .. and that promise is all that matters .. it’s not about words at all .. 2 souls meet, eyes meet and their is a recognition.. and that really is it! Unconditional love and that means unconditional trust! When I was in my teens I remember someone telling me “if you love someone or something, set them/it free and if they/it come back they/it are yours else never were”. The romantic in me thought ofcourse I can let it go .. my love is true 🙂 It’s taken me 20 plus years to figure out “letting go” and I’m still figuring out .. The one you love the most, will trigger you the most! And thats the way it is meant to be .. trigger away and be able to talk about it and work through it , we are all work in progress.. see the drama! The world is a classroom and people are my assignments after all, yet.. love is the goal and life is the journey and when you meet that one, the soul, the one with whom you connect and can Be You and have a safety to a level unprecedented and a feeling of oneness like never before .. You have your sacred union. The Event, The Paper.. both irrelevant! Eyes have made the promise, the SOUL has made a promise and that’s all that matters .. rest is all just details in this journey of life. And btw, the promise to come together was made way before you actually met 🙂 AND BTW .. age, height, religion, colour, size, education, career, bank balance .. what?? How about intimacy, eyes, heart, communication … energy, TRUE ENERGY 🙂 The Promise is really all the things we can feel and not see, what we can feel and never has to be said .. because it’s who we are!! Hain Na 🙂
Yes yes .. maybe .. just maybe .. the soul you meet .. you both want The Paper and you both want The Event .. then do it 🙂 but good to keep in perspective isn’t it ? nothing is forever .. nothing .. and if you think it is, you don’t know what forever means 🙂 we are eternal .. stars .. this life form is a current experience .. if you’re not flowing with someone, have the awareness to do something about it .. we all have a choice .. every day, every moment! Fated Life v. Destined Life .. What do you want to believe? Bollywood made me believe you only fall in love once .. I know better now! But then .. then is love and there is LOVE.. the unconditional kind. May we all be blessed to have a True Sacred Union!
Be love, you are love, loved & lovable❤️